December 30, 2003

for the nerds

holy sweet jesus batman.

P4 at 5.25 GHz
with liquid nitrogen cooling.


December 29, 2003

so, my uncle is visiting from the States, and heaven forbid he sleep in a motel, so he's been staying in my room.
as such, I've been sharing a bed with my brother; it's giant, and I cling to the edge anyway, so that's fine.
he has this weird habit of leaving his radio on to Z95.3, just loud enough to make out the words. as much as I'd like to roll over and turn it off, he's in the way, and gets quite... well, bitchy when one does so.
because of this I had one of the wackiest dreams I've had in a good long time, so wacky that you could turn it into a flash game.

A freak EMP has dissolved the brains of bad music-loving people listening to bad music. They've turned into zombies and need proper music-loving brains to survive.
You are the owner of a particularly bitchin' record store. Also you have a band.
Wave after wave of zombies heads towards your store, each repulsed by a different type of music. You can tell which type because there's a clue given by their dress/attitude/mumbling (in the dream, I just knew). You can either drop a record, or play a cover.
To drop a record: you have to find it before the zombies eat your band.
To play a cover: choose from a list of 5, and then think Parappa the Rapper; you have to hit certain keys as they come up.

If you drop the right record/play the right cover, they dissolve. If not, they get one step (of three) closer to devouring a customer. When you run out of customers, they start on your bandmates. When it's down to you, game over.

As levels go on, zombies become harder to kill, until you meet the final boss: the RIAA. or some record company exec. whatever.

in conclusion: I'm crazy, and Z95.3 doesn't help.

addendum: at the beginning of your game, choose your anality level. Lower means your records are disorganized but you have more customers. higher means more organization, less customers. At the highest level, your records are perfectly alphabetical by band, chronological by release, but you have no customers.


December 27, 2003

I want to be able to take things at face value.

Surrey frustrates me.
Delta angers me.
Even after 6 months, Vancouver is home; not where I sleep, but where I live.

I miss looking out my window and seeing trees along the sidewalk.
I miss the 41.
I miss a lot of things I'll never have again, lost and inconsequential, but mourned nonetheless.

This place, with its pink walls and dingy grey carpet, footsteps heard through the ceiling and lemurs in the bedrooms, seems to inspire a full-body ennui; as if any and all fun was sucked out of it, viciously and constantly.
and I can't leave.
I have to be the supportive one; the one who keeps it all together (or appears to) as things shudder, twist and ultimately change.

If you're reading this and being all confused because this isn't like me, know that I'm just as puzzled. I know that I'll pick up and move on, eventually; it's the waiting that's the tough bit.

Do I use too many semicolons?

mood: discontent
music: Blur - Music is My Radar


December 24, 2003

Once More With Hobbits

that's right. The Buffy Musical meets the Lord of the Rings.

nothing exploded.


December 23, 2003

I've noticed that the ad up top changes to advertise to whatever I've been writing about lately.
I've also noticed that Google seems to be giving me an awful lot of blank space.



December 21, 2003

foreign safety videos = awesome.

Staplefahrer Klaus



nothing with actual content.


The ULTIMATE personality test
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December 18, 2003


when reading blogs/msn conversations/emails/other online correspondence, do you imagine the voice of the person as you read, or do you read it as you would any other text?


December 17, 2003

return of the king was fucking awesome.
go find out for yourself, if you haven't already.
props to naf for getting a geek crew together.

monday was the first day I'd set foot in Vancouver in a week, which was bizarre.

I want a still of the shot of Gandalf sitting in Minas Tirith, not moving, where he's all in white, and the walls are white, and he's sitting in deep thought (or sorrow).
Jaw-droppingly well composed shot.

house of brown.

Mountain Madness did not kill me.
or cause stomach pains.


December 14, 2003

untitled for now. (eventually crossposted to 48hours)

"It's the moments that illuminate it, though. The times you don't see when you're having them... they make the rest of it matter."

My life so far has been filled with moments; passing fragments of time and space, which can be relived but not rewound, cradled but not clenched. Castles of sand on the beach of my memory.

I'd try and make as many of them as I could in my last 48 hours, both for me and for my loved ones.
If I'm off to the Intergalactic Council of Poopy, then I'm going to need them.
If I'm dead, then those who will have known me will be needing them.

Grab a shovel and bucket, or just use your hands: there's moments to be made, and not much time to do it in.


December 13, 2003


since livejournal just did away with account codes, I now have a sham account over there:


since I don't have the design flexibility there that I do with blogger, I'm going to stay here for the time being.


December 08, 2003


answer the following, please. I think my comments box has a word limit, so you might have to stop at #10 and then post a second comment.

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?


December 07, 2003

on the surface, simplicity / it's the darkest pit in me (crossposted to 48 hours)

I'm staring at my hands.
Examining the tracery of lines and creases that my skin assumes when my hands are clenched.
Knowing that the moment I stop, the thought begins. The endless reexamination. Where I shouldn't have said something, or walked away, or simply let it roll off my back. The words held back, things I meant and didn't say, things I said and didn't mean.

It's later.
I'm sitting in one of the countless sushi joints in Kerrisdale, across from the only person who sees through my projected calm to the stormy seas beneath.
We order.
We wait.
He looks at me, a question in his eyes. I catch his glance; motion for him to finish his thought.
"No. You'd probably kick me for asking."
"And this is different from any other question, how?"
"Fine. Why do you bother? I mean, if none of it makes sense to you, then why carry on with the rituals and the restrictions and the rest of it?"

The waitress arrives, bearing beef teriyaki for him, vegetable tempura for me. Silence from both ends, teenaged boys too deeply enveloped in the material to discuss matters of the spiritual.

Halfway through, he steals a piece of squash, then motions at his bowl. "Did you want some?"
Usually, this is a joke - endless mockery as a hallmark of the friendship we share. Today, it's a loaded question.
Usually, I glare at him, and the question is answered. Today, I take a moment to think.
Too long, it seems. He inhales the rest, saving me from answering the question.

We finish, pay, leave.

On our walk back to the school, he taps me on the shoulder. "Were you actually considering it, or were you just leading me on?"
I look at him.
"That's what I thought. Assclown. See you in biology."
We part ways.
I haven't answered the question.


December 05, 2003

you know you're stuck in the suburbs when...

  • the most exciting thing you've done all day is switch razors
  • a fauxhawk elicits a mother covering her child's eyes in Zellers (I'm not kidding)
  • the difference between pubs and restaurants is interesting discussion


December 03, 2003

being efficient by combining posts.

Sarah C. now has a blog.
for those of you keeping track, that's three blogs and one pair of headphones.
maybe I should just move into drugs.
I need to organize an expedition to my subconcious.

tonight's dream: we move to Louisiana, and I end up at LSU. not just me, though - I seem to remember Loewen, Vanessa, Graham, Collins&Costa, that annoying loud girl from Theatre 150, and possibly Spencer.
no, wait, Spencer was eaten by an alligator, and we held a wake.
I spent most of said dream stumbling through the Theatre Department's writing classes; most notably "Effective Playwriting through Hallucinogens", and some class where I had to cover for Loewen's absence and then got locked in the trap room, which was full of zombified monarchy.

The Queen Mother and I had tea, although she had to restrain King George multiple times; he wanted my brains.

and then I woke up.


December 02, 2003

weirdest. quiz. ever.

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
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December 01, 2003



night photo.



November 30, 2003

more 48 hours

I don't know if adulthood is a line that's crossed as much as it is a path: sometimes a frolic through meadow glades, other times a heavy-hearted trudge through hell and high water.
Even then, getting there is half the fun.
I don't think I've made it to the end, but I can recount a few of the bigger steps I've taken along the way:
Making the decision to skip a grade.
The entrance test for my high school.
The first bus ride to, and first day of high school.
The first month spent sleeping on the couch when I refused to share a room with my sister.
The school trip to Oregon; planning and cooking meals, seeing plays twenty times older than I was, the now-infamous Honk If You Want More Skin bus ride back.
School-based work experience; stabbing myself with a razor - barely missing a vein and a nerve, requiring three stitches, responsible for the scar at the base of my left hand. More work experience; the slow horror of an office job and the agony of being stuck at a desk all day.
Being put in charge of the yearbook: 6 people to work with, 1400 people to satisfy, 5 administrators with whom to fight for the privilege of mercilessly crushing fragile high school egos with a mere caption, carefully placed photo, or misquote.
First actual job.
First beer/joint/smoke ring.
First kiss.
First day at UBC, abandoned in a sea of people.
Finding the AUS; the value of teamwork.
Vomiting profusely at Whistler; the value of finding and respecting limits.
Judging people with Spencer; the value of nonsense and friendship.
Making billboards with Graham; the value of perseverance.
Long talks with Vanessa; realizing that I was an excellent judge of character.
Phone calls to Paige; the value of hope and the element of surprise.
Working at the PNE; knowing that this was something I couldn't do for the rest of my life.
Every minute I spent working on ACF, honing skills I never knew I had, becoming an instant expert on putting up walls whose only purpose was to get vandalised, dealing with angry tour managers (knowing when to call for help), mini donuts and topless bullriders spotted over the shoulder of my mother.
18th birthday and all that came with it.

I still call for my dad if there's a spider larger than a loonie.
My Etch-A-Sketch sees regular use.
I don't know what I want to do with my life.

I'm no adult. There will be a day when I pause and realize that I am (probably while shaving, knowing myself), but until then, I'm happy to remain a traveller.


November 29, 2003

party was awesome.

well worth getting the phone confiscated for. (if you want me, leave a message - I check it every half hour or so.)

the ride home was something different altogether; my dad told me not to speak, and then spent the entire car ride bitching about the sacrifices he had to make for me.

I said nothing; am amazed at the self control I am able to summon (even after 4 Gerald Specials, a glass of wine and a rum and coke that was more rum than coke)

looking forward to IKEA tomorrow, phone or no phone.

before the rumour mill starts up: I kissed Dingwall. On the cheek. At the behest of Ian Strand. For a photo. (more of a comic-strip thing, really)


November 26, 2003

remember this?

more specifically:

(during 2+2=5)
[GERALD turns around, sees GRAHAM and VANESSA]
[VANESSA grins]
GRAHAM: you're hovering [grins like small child at Christmas]
(beat drops)

on the bootleg I've got (and that is spreading about the internet, it seems), Graham is heard quite clearly.

of course, this matters to nobody but me...


November 23, 2003

48 hours crosspost

moving from one place to another, watching endless tableaux swish by in a soundless blur, rendered mute and awed by the bustle that is other people.
in my daily commute, I pass through 4 cities/corporations/whatever, countless neighbourhoods (including my old one), over one river, past four car dealerships, the second largest mall in Canada, by two Telus buildings (separated by four stations), a train depot, and a toilet paper factory.
For what felt like an eternity, I couldn't handle the ride. To simply step through and over, like a pair of 20,000 league boots, making little if any impressions as I stood still and tried not to let the heartbreak show. Eventually, I would suit up like a deep-sea diver: headphones on, something english with guitars going loudly, eyes and mind buried deep in a graphic novel, I simply ignored the world. I still do, when I'm nervous about something. (witness Owen and Paige yesterday, standing behind me at Broadway Station, Owen miming pinching my posterior, while I listen to Thom Yorke wailing about chickens in his head and yuppies networking, and ponder what the interviewer's going to ask me, not noticing that they're there until Paige giggles loudly enough during a lull for me to turn around.)

but I digress. it's travel that does me in; looking down on people and the world they inhabit as you go right by, bouncing like a straight line off a circle (go tangents!), ignorant of their stories and experiences and laughter and sadness; to know that every person you go by has a story that you're missing, a talent that you'll never see, a recipe you'll never taste, a joy you'll never share.

it makes me feel tiny.


- I was in one of Paige's dreams; Owen had a Radiohead cover band and I had a crush on him.

- interview went *really* well; now it's a question of my somewhat spotty availability. and I've been invited back for summer, and also to work in their HR department when I'm done my degree.

- ghirardelli does ridiculous hazelnut hot chocolate. (I stopped at Death by Chocolate on my way back to the bus stop)

- ran into someone two grades younger from my high school that knew me (go tiny public school!), who greeted me with "dude, you were about the last person who I'd figure to become a yuppie." (I was wearing a maroon shirt, shades-of-metallic-gray striped tie, gray pants and the black shoes, while holding a paper cup with a java jacket on it ( which contained said hot chocolate))

- I coordinated lumberjack socks with my tie. And it worked.

- butter chicken went over well; I also think I managed to sate Spencer's desire to cut flesh (temporarily, I assume; permanently, I hope.)

- it's also great to cook with people who don't look over your shoulder the whole damn time and spice when you're not looking.

- la fin du monde is wonderful.


November 22, 2003

I love being home alone, cranking the PC speakers, and singing along to whatever comes up as I go about various chores.

ironing + RCHP
finding spices in various cupboards + Wilco
dishes + Radiohead


November 20, 2003

watching spencer mime things to the Kill Bill soundtrack is like a train wreck: you really shouldn't watch, but it's just captivating.


November 19, 2003

more for my benefit than yours.



don't wallow.

out of here soon enough.


November 16, 2003

more 48 Hours crossposting

scent is the key to memory for some.
for others, it's all about the mnemonics.
for me, it's music.

so, pick a memory: it's the only one you get.

do I go with Rubix Cube, to remind me of the time I politely refused Kazzer's tour manager?
or should I pick the orchestral theme to Super Mario Bros, which was playing when I was told that I would be Upper Plaza Guy?
OK Computer, for the moments in the graphics room in my highschool, designing layouts and forging bonds with equally geeky friends?
Sulk, for those grey, rainy days whiled away playing videogames when I should've been studying?

let's go the other way:
random happy hardcore, to relive the panic that resulted from my losing an act at ACF 12?
Kylie's Fever, for when I saw that I'd failed my first university course?
U2's Beautiful Day, so I can be graduating again, walking across the stage, shaking the principal's hand, and being asked where my mother is?
Andrew WK live, to remember the pain of moving out of Vancouver?

there's a thousand thousand other moments, other notes and words that open doors in my head.
I can't choose.
no. I won't choose.


November 14, 2003

this is one of those weeks where I don't want to be at home. at all.

also, lots of weird dreams.

I wonder if they're related.


November 11, 2003

Delicious Schadenfreude
I think we all know who this is.


November 10, 2003

[for 48 hours]

I had an awful summer.
It started out looking great; 18 years old, job applications out all over the place, finally had my own room, prime spot in east van (far enough that I could use it as an excuse, close enough that it really wasn't.), and it looked like the world was my oyster.

four months later, I had no job (aside from the PNE, which was more being paid to tan than actual work), I'd moved to Delta(it's exactly like Surrey. no matter what anyone says, it's all the same), and my room was pink. with jungle animals on the wall. the sense of isolation was overwhelming, and the commute to my summer class was crushing; watching endless city landscapes slide by was like getting my heart torn out - I still don't know why.

granted, there were random bursts of joy; outings with friends, for normal things like turntables in the states, or ridiculous ones like slurpees in squamish, but they only served to outline the despair that had suddenly entered stage left.

I spent my the last seventy dollars in my chequing account on my radiohead ticket, and I would sit and stare at it, hoping to extract some of what I knew was coming. It didn't work.

but the day came (and paige had come back shortly before, which made it even awesomer), and I headed down to the stadium, ticket in hand. lost paige shortly thereafter, when I had to break off into the elitist wristband section (where my extra $10 went) and head in alone, guided only by a text message to meet graham stage left. (we found paige later, and another friend of ours outfitted her with a wristband.)

long story short, I had an embarassingly good time. knew the words to every song, called out titles after maybe four bars, usually more, watched, absorbed and generally enjoyed the experience of being immersed in music I loved, surrounded by unequal parts strangers and people I loved, and knowing that I was free.

that night, I had one of the most enjoyable bus rides I've ever taken. and this is my 7th year of taking the bus.

two days later, I received an all-access pass to the show, from a friend who was working backstage.

whenever I felt dislocated, or alone, or angry, or whenever I heard an argument through the walls, I would look at my pass, remember the bass of the gloaming passing through me, or phil dancing during backdrifts, or ed's improvisation at the end of just, or jonny rocking out during go to sleep, or any one of countless moments from the concert, and be back on the field at t-bird, free again.

it's a rectangular piece of cloth, somewhere between gaffer tape and denim, yellow bordered with a black and white rendition of the Hail to the Thief artwork on the cover, stamped with VANCOUVER, 8-30-03 in black.

and it's everything that's right with the world.


November 06, 2003

you can't feel cheated forever.

things make more sense now.

this doesn't change that I need to get out.
this doesn't change that I need a computer before I do so.
this doesn't change that I have wonderful friends that I love (and who love me in return)
this doesn't change that I have a self-appointed mentor who started as a running gag, and is slowly becoming sort of serious (and who I am not, under any circumstances, turning into.)
this does change how I look at things; how I react to things; how I do things.

thanks, gang.


November 04, 2003

what do you do when you're told that everything you know about the people who populate your world is wrong, and that the people who are your closest friends are, in fact, bad for you?

psychic my ass.


November 02, 2003

what the heck is vicodin, and why does the internet want me to believe that I need it?


48 hours cross-post.

for those that don't know, I signed up for Another 48 Hours 2, in which a group of bloggers is given a subject to write about, and 48 hours to write it in. there's a link on the sidebar, and here's my entry for this week:

winter light streams through useless blinds, filling a pink room with grey, and irritating the sleeper within.
roll. shuffle. wake. grasp uselessly at the trailing edge of a pleasant dream (all surrey bridges wash out; I am free of suburbia forever.) release the last trailing tendrils, and submit myself to the waking world, one sense at a time:
ears first; close by is the ticking of my wristwatch, parked on the nightstand. no schoolchildren outside, no cars on the road, no footsteps upstairs. Strain to make out a vague sound, wait, wait... it's just Dad snoring.
nose is clogged. fuck. no smells.
mouth. I don't want mine right now - last night's beer and morning breath form a film on the inside. dry tongue meets hard palate, and it feels like an alien world inside my head.
skin: I am alone, but warm, encapsulated in leopard-print.
lastly, eyes: pink room. jungle creatures on the wall. stupid hand-me-down furniture. home.

roll again, to check the time (6:40am).
shift, and return to slumber.


October 31, 2003

parents went to bellingham yesterday.

brought back diet cherry coke.

holy fuck, this stuff is addictive.


October 30, 2003

Krista moved. Go say hi.


nerd hilarity.


a little background: Nokia recently introduced the N-Gage, which is a phone, MP3 player, gaming device, and toaster.
...okay, I made the last one up, but it's not that farfetched.
It has one major design flaw: you have to hold it sideways to talk.


October 29, 2003

I had another one of those days where I don't feel like I'm so much living as going through the motions.

strange, strange feeling, given that I would usually have had a whole lot of fun.


October 25, 2003

a) happy Diwali! it's the hindu new year, and now there's only three days left before I can eat meat again. At which point we have to go back to Salathai, 'cause that looked good.

b) happy 21st, Lana! Remember, you're not short, you're efficient.

c) happy 19th, Paige! There's really nothing I can say here that hasn't already been said.


October 24, 2003

there are days when I wish I could secede from my extended family, and thus free myself from this stupid web of soap-opera intrigue that really has nothing to do with me.

today was another one of them.

welcome back, graham!
I'd have been there, but you had to pick Hindu New Year's Eve to arrive.


October 21, 2003

prepare to be shocked


hot girls dancing in office = wicked. awesome.

they've started again. w00t.


slowly breaking my promise...

I was explaining this to Trevor, and found that I was using Spencerian hand gestures.

if I suddenly develop an affinity for mayo, please find a handy blunt object and proceed to beat some sense into me.

(nothing wrong with Spencer, mind you, I just have no plans to die at 38 of my second heart attack.)



I've got the rest of the series in zipped JPEG format, if anyone wants it.


I know the tables aren't quite aligned, but I'll deal with it later.'s the rest of it look?


October 17, 2003

so, um, yeah. hi.

...I'm still startled by the content of the post below.
I know the circumstances and the events of the weekend before that brought it about, but still. It's so... angry. I almost had to check and make sure I hadn't turned green.

but that's done with.

here's some one-sentence reviews!

The String Quartet Tribute to Coldplay: so mellow it hurts.
Enigmatic: The String Quartet Tribute to Radiohead: Songs with three drummers and two guitarists do not translate well to string quartet format; otherwise see above.
Hawksley Workman: Lover/Fighter: new, and yet somehow more of the same.
Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot: someone kick me for not listening to this sooner.
Squarepusher: Feed Me Weird Things: awesome for weirding people out with, especially in the office.
1.8.7: Cities Collection: oddly fitting.
Radiohead: Scatterbrain (4Tet Remix): ridiculously good - in fact, it makes the 2 + 2 = 5 single a viable buy.

coming soon:
more Squarepusher, Boards of Canada, more d 'n' b, the Lost in Translation Soundtrack, the Bodysong Soundtrack, and Goldfrapp.

not coming soon:
random angry outbursts.


October 09, 2003

quick thoughts

4 tet remix of scatterbrain = awesome.
I love not having to talk to someone; just being able to go about whatever you're doing without having to fill an awkward silence is awesome.

no crotch-staring today, but what would I put on a sign to hang off my fly?
"roses are red,
violets are cool,
I really would prefer
you not stare at my tool"

or should I bust out some haiku?


October 08, 2003

bus rides

I hate how some people will do nothing more than stare straight ahead for the entire duration of a bus ride.
Especially when they end up spending the entire ride from Broadway to UBC focused on my crotch.
and not in the good way.


October 06, 2003

whistler was spent getting to know people better.
it's interesting how much fun you can have when you're not vomitatiously ill.

  • new kids are pretty cool; I'm still not quite adjusted to being That Guy Who Knows Things.
  • old people are incredibly funny; I got in on the Cock Talk this time around, and I was blown away.
  • games of I Never start to suck when it turns into oneupmanship
  • Hey Ya!! = instant dance party, no matter what time.
  • tweed jackets = mad fun.
  • head-in-lap chats = also mad fun.
  • sexual hand signal-based drinking games and well-mannered history reps = SHOCKA CARL!!

there's more; there's always more, but it's the kind of thing that comes in bits and pieces.

at council today, I joined promo committee and the yearbook/archivist thing, which means it's time to get back into design.
someone point me in the direction of current design trends, please.


October 02, 2003

things learned within 1 hour of internet arrival:

Mozilla Firebird = awesome
Sygate Personal Firewall = awesome
Soulseek = awesome

XP updates required after 4 months offline = not awesome.


October 01, 2003


DSL = installed.

delta = nearing tolerability.


September 26, 2003

had a fun chat with Cass while poll clerking.

a: Old AUSers are awesome.
b: old stories about current AUSers are also awesome.

(Graham, I'm looking at you.)


September 16, 2003


this is pretty bad.
gotten so used to posting somewhat regularly that I feel guilty about not having done anything since Radiohead.

here goes!
The School:
The usual, I suppose. Classes are mind-numbing (LING 100) to really very interesting (THTR 150). Good to see everyone back. Well, most everyone, anyway. There's always the one who you could do without, and the one who's passed on (not dead, graduated) that you miss.
The Sister:
she left her husband last Tuesday, after seven stormy months. He wouldn't stand up to his mother (basically, it would have been "Stop picking on my wife, your unrealistic expectations are ridiculous and I will have none of this.)
she's back. and I never really mentioned her before because she was married before I started the blog, and since she wasn't allowed to visit home (see also: unrealistic expectations). I love her (she is my sister, after all), but there's a number of things we don't get along on.
so, instead of telling her when I disagree, I have to grin and bear it. So far, this includes:

  • saying goodbye to half my closet.
  • shuffling around the furniture in my already-tiny room to make space for her stuff
  • not flipping out when I get yelled at for the faults of her ex.
  • being wrong. all the time.

it's minor, but it adds up.
The Mentor
Spencer is a giant ass (in a good way). I'm not going to turn into him. I promise.
Stop worrying.

So far it's been me tagging along with Spencer and meeting people and being a/bemused. Eventually, I will teach him useful things, like
  • how to make bread
  • how to break into cars with a coat hanger (to retrieve other people's keys, not to drive away in them)
  • how to make butter chicken
  • MP3 snobbery (VBR vs CBR, LAME vs iTunes, etc.)
  • and of course, get him hooked on Eggos

suggestions are welcome (basically, I'm teaching him things to impress people with.) and if you want to tag along, then let me know.
The Home Life
Sucks. I want to get out, but I will only do so with a laptop.
I didn't at all want to go home at 8 after the welcome back (and certain people didn't want me to either, which was incredibly awesome) and sobering up on the bus ride + waiting around at scott road station (being sure to stay on camera, in case anything happened) blew goats. Harder than myUBC blows goats.
which is pretty. damn. hard.


September 15, 2003

decisions, decisions.

do I apply for Elections Administrator?
please comment below.


September 04, 2003

erosion, cont.'d

people who claim membership into a group to which they don't belong (or have been removed from) bug me.



September 02, 2003

12:35am, August 31

ears still ringing.
face hurts from continual silly grin.
feet hurt more, from 6 hours in parking + more jumping up and down.

show was amazing
from opening (2+2=5) to closing (EEIRP), I was enthralled, jumping, bouncing, hovering, moving, swaying with slow songs and pausing for the odd sip of water, and flat out having a bitchin' time.

(during 2+2=5)
[GERALD turns around, sees GRAHAM and VANESSA]
[VANESSA grins]
GRAHAM: you're hovering [grins like small child at Christmas]
(beat drops)

3 encores, 7 songs.
Wolf at the Door with keyboards!!
Ed rocking out, and air-drumming!!
Michael Stipe coming out for Karma Police!!
Ricer-shaming bass on The Gloaming
I... wow.

now, to track down a bootleg...


August 30, 2003

things that erode my faith in humanity

  • Riced-out Camaros.
  • men wearing Cher shirts.
  • the Toyota Echo Hatchback.
  • the sheer number of people who think that a "DO NOT ENTER, TRANSIT VEHICLES ONLY" sign does not apply to them.
  • Coldplay botching "The Scientist" at the MTV VMAs.


August 28, 2003

Robert Heinlein defines love as "the condition in which the welfare of another becomes essential to your own."



08.27.2003, 10:03pm

today didn't suck.
there were no ridiculous arguments, no "where-are-you" messages, and maybe the silly jungle creatures on my wall aren't that bad.
okay, scratch the last one.
now, for long-postponed updates:
peer advising is mad fun.
if you're helping someone, then there's the whole fuzzy-happy-helpful feeling of making someone else's life easier.
if not, you're chatting with the other people, or on MSN.
win/win/win. I'd love to work there.
parking is 60% standing around, 25% chatting (either with "guests" or other parkers) and 15% waving arms.
not bad, but I'd much rather do something.

whatever. parking is still better than some of the other PNE jobs, like sweeping (exclusive domain of 15-year olds for whom this is a first job), concessions (no explanation needed) or lottery tickets ("win a house! win a car!" x 8 hours = yowza)
got my radiohead ticket.
the guy who sold me mine did so at a loss.

53.50USD x 1.39965 CAD/1USD = $74.88 CAD.
paige is back.
she has been since saturday, but I hadn't made it out to campus until today.
am somewhere between relieved and excited (paige returning = radiohead and school starting)
first time I've actually been excited for school to start.
classes aren't going to suck (THTR 150, LING 100), the AUSgang, and the slowly increasing likelihood of a campus job, things are looking up. finally.
waterproof khakis are awesome.
and only $40!
no longer allergic to grass.
melons will be tested shortly.
really odd to write after such a long hiatus. feel sort of guilty for neglecting the blog, and my writing's not where it used to be.


up on the ladder. again.

radiohead's here in two days, so I figured this design was appropriate.


August 20, 2003

we apologize for the inconvenience. normal service will resume shortly.

I find that proper writing of any sort requires a certain organization of thought, and also a fair bit of time in which to do it.
Unfortunately, using the library computers puts a damper on things.



August 13, 2003

arranged myself a twilight zone ticket.

this means I have to back out of buying one from jon loewen.
I feel terrible about this.

if anyone who reads this needs (or knows someone who needs) a radiohead general admission ticket, email jon - it's jonloewen (at) telus (dot) net

got the info centre job - it's 5 hours and not ten, but it's still a foot in the door.

I think I find out about street team tomorrow.


August 12, 2003

weird dream #2

on the #41 bus.
see vanessa.
go over, sit down, start a chat, and then...
THOM YORKE gets on the bus.
and we have a discussion.

don't remember what about, but it was engaging.


August 09, 2003

a little bit longer and a little bit worse.

so now I have *two* interviews on Monday, one for street team, and the other for temporary Aleksing (read: working in Brock Hall during the fee-paying rush). Am appropriately excited/nervous.

PNE orientation was... interesting.
did stupid icebreakers, which are stupid but effective - we had to name our table, and since we were all from Parking (got there late, so they couldn't really mix us in with the rest) we were the pylons. apparently, this was extremely witty and the name + our presentation (one guy made car noises and "drove" around us, appropriately knocking a couple people over) won us single movie passes (wtf? could you not at least spring for two a person, Giant Corporation?) and Starbucks gift certificates. w00t.

have made arrangements for RH ticket. it's very cloak-and-dagger; jon promised it to someone else who couldn't deliver, so I have to keep the fact that he's selling it to me on the so-called down-low.

Friends continue their reign of awesomeness; brother has yet to grasp that farting is not funny.

Delta library is weird. Has Go Plastic, but no Bends. why?

headphones for beer = best trade ever.

finally listened to a live version of Kid A; which made the lyrics decipherable. What I thought was "please don't be so scared" was actually "we have heads on sticks".
-1 to my ears.

was listening to "how can you be sure" (track 14, bends japanese release), and I caught the female backing vocals, something I hadn't previously noticed.
+1 to the eggos

found the old Kid A/Pablo Honey/Amnesiac MD. (it was in my sock drawer, for some reason)
also downloaded a concert from 1993 at a cousin's from
it's not great quality, but still worth a listen.
(Cuttooth is the name of a b-side off the Knives Out single, in case you were wondering)

happy birthday, graham!
you're not that old.


August 06, 2003

microentries, cont'd...

spoke to paige for an hour last night, including a small three-way call to Vanessa.
as well as flat-rate long distance, telus seems to have tossed 3-way calls into our phone plan, which means we can all talk to paige!

made things inexorably better, knowing that she wasn't as down as her posts would have me believe.


am dropping VISA 180, for as yet undecided course.
I don't know if I can swing moving out yet, and the course sounds extremely time-consuming.
this wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't losing most of a day every week to commuting. (2hours/way x 2 ways x 5 days/week = 20 hours)
but I am going to be (temporarily, I hope), and I can always take it later. I do need something to replace it now.


got a phone call: they want me for AMS Street Team interviews on monday

this means I need to:
- get a haircut
- figure out what the hell I'm going to do to fill up my three minutes of "wow-the-interviewer-time"
- possibly make a billboard, courtesy of graham-taught skills.


hindu suits as curtains got me an extra two hours of sleep.
my mother mentioned that they'd probably fade in funny patterns, and that she might just sew some for me.


August 03, 2003

1:45 am, August 2.

Meeting/party was fun.

did the usual party thing, but didn't drink. went through 2.5 pitchers of iced tea, instead (thanks, payne!). had a shot of raspberry vodka (cough syrup + burning)

had a number of interesting conversations - notably with Vanessa, Jayme, and Eaton.

first: props to V - she's an excellent listener. and very attractive.
second: Jayme seems back to normal. I miss having a backyard in which to stare at the sky. Saw two shooting stars, though.
third: worried about Eaton. We had an actual, normal chat in which he didn't threaten me. THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN, PEOPLE. unfortunately, I don't know him well enough to nudge him into talking about whatever's bothering him, so I'll fret from a safe distance and wait for the days of incredibly witty death forecasts to return.


1:15 am, August 2.

not having internet at home blows.
as such, I've started writing them out and saving them for later.

here goes:
every now and then, someone does something stupid. stupid beyond the normal bonds of idiocy. such incidents include swearing at Graham's mom, or demands so incredibly presumptuous it make's your head spin.
I got one two days ago.

my dad sat me down and made up some crap about me having changed (fuck, obviously. if you want constancy over time, get a goddamned statue) and launched into a spiel about how his time on the temple committee some time ago had screwed him over by distracting him from getting his business done. therefore, the AUS distracts me from class.
first problem: I don't skip class for AUS stuff - I skip class because it's incredibly boring. Or was, anyway. Next year looks all sorts of awesome.
second problem: *you* can't manage your time. I am not you. bad assumption to make.

said distractions led to drop in grades
problem: grades dropped because I didn't go to class, and largely because I was burned out.
also business about last year, when I ran the yearbook, which brought down my grades, made me incredibly moody and unhappy around the house, and robbed me of scholarships.
it brought my grades up (really, I've got report cards that prove it), allowed me an outlet for previously untapped talent, and let me mock everyone else in the school. Oh, and the moodiness? Try being 17 and sleeping on the couch daily
but I digress. this ended in him demanding that I resign and walk away from AUS business, as well as the Fair.

I flatly refused.

You (seeing as most anyone who reads this is either an AUSer, or fulfills below requirements) made first year bearable. I didn't want to go straight to school - I wanted to take a year off and travel. Since my brother had said the same and has yet to return to school, I got pushed into somewhere I didn't want to be, took courses to fulfill a career path that wasn't one of my choosing, and got ready to hunker down and despair.
Then I got a copy of the Source, decided that maybe this wasn't all bad, and walked into a bunch of random, random experience.

  • Slurpees and Push and NERD ALERT
  • Word of the Day, Go Fish tournaments, and Drunken Drunken Hippos
  • "well, shit" and beer o' clock and Sea-to-Sky

that's not even touching the work.

had you asked me in september to run a stage, make billboards, create a phrase for the office to use as well as an absurd nickname for graham, find velvet ropes, and set up beer gardens, I would've asked for some of whatever it was you were on. But I did it all, and to walk away from another four years of this(although I don't think an office phrase or a nickname will pop up quite so easily) is something I won't do.

in short: I <3 you all.


July 29, 2003

microentries: 1 of many.


dinner at payne's was fun, car ride home wasn't.

"do you want a ride home?"
"do I have a choice in the matter?"


welcome to blogging, naf.


psycholology undergraduate advisor = suck.
"go to room 2527 for drop in appointments."
get to room 2527, there's nobody there.


stupid rechargeable battery.
if I'm editing on the MD (dividing tracks, shortening tracks, adding names, etc), and the battery dies (usually I have it plugged in while editing, but I didn't because the battery meter was at 3/4ths), then I've effectively wiped an MD. this is what happened last night.
luckily, it was only the gaudy-ass mix disc (the disc is gaudy, the music is mixed), but it's still annoying.


writing cover letters is a pain in the ass.


note to V: who won the pool?



July 23, 2003


I hate not having the internet at home.
Besides lacking the capacity to MSN, I can't blog right when things hit me, and I miss, well, Paige.

I'd say more later, but I don't know when later is.



July 21, 2003

take that, electrons!

well, I passed CHEM 121, and I must have done pretty damn good on the final, given that I skipped an entire page (calculating atom size from the degree at which an x-ray is diffracted = confusing) but I managed to get a 57 overall - which is averaged with the 45 from beforehand.

so, I'm buying a headphone amp as a self-reward.
yes. I said headphone amp. Mock me now, but you will be amazed later. Well, Graham and Paige mostly; the rest of you are philistines.


July 17, 2003

ATTN eggos: I haven't forgotten about you. Will see you soon. And stop being such a slut - I heard about you and Trevor.

(note: I am not crazy. Only bored.)


July 15, 2003

stuck here, in the middle of nowhere, with a headache and a heavy heart.

paige mentioned that I wasn't terribly detail-oriented about my sources of melancholy, so here's a breakdown, lifted from an email I sent her:

moving is over with... for now. my dad's started looking for a house in the same area, and we're all emphasizing the transiency of this move (if I could find the camera, I'd send a picture of my closet). I don't like the area, firstly because it's closer to two hours than to an hour and a half for me to get home, and also because all the people are afraid of me, because I am a late-teens to mid-twenties brown guy. I was amused the first time, but now I'm annoyed; being grouped in with a bunch of middle-class suburban faux-gangster kids simply because of my skin tone and age group is somewhat aggravating.
with no internet or cable, I've been doing more reading, mostly Discworld books (comic fantasy) borrowed from jake (asshat friend).
I hate my room. It's pink, and there's a cacophony of jungle animals on a stupid trim piece that runs around the entire room. My bed is right on the floor, there's no room for my dresser with mirror, so I only have the wardrobe in there, large spiders seem to be attracted to it, and I can't put things up on the wall because there's no masking tape and I don't want to deal with accidentally removed paint.
I haven't worked for almost a year, unless you count temp jobs like polling and calendars. I'm not looking forward to doing parking at the PNE - I didn't put anything specific down because I hoped they'd have picked me for something ACF-ish, but I get to tell people where to park, instead.
The welcome back barbeque will be nothing compared to radiohead - also, if you're living in the office, I can steal you the electric wok, which is everything it sounds like (plug in, and stir fry.)

[paige-specific bit; if you want to know, ask her]

my sister and her husband are heading for splitsville - I think it's a trial separation now, and possibly a divorce later. this means she'll be moving back in, and that we'll be back to five people in a three-bedroom house. I found that out saturday morning; I don't know how long she'll be back, and walking on eggshells + current instabilities don't bode well.
chemistry is boring and stupid. fuck you, electrons!


July 12, 2003

last night: I found out my sister is probably going to be living with us for a while - time to get reacquainted with the couch.

this morning: did paperwork for job, went to pick shifts (you pick a page and it has times and locations for the two-week period), and found that none were free on saturday the 30th, so I picked the timesheet with the earliest end time (3:30pm)

one step forward, two steps back.


July 11, 2003

it's 8:30. assuming that the gang left at 5am (you said 4:30, but we're talking about Spencer here), they should have passed Hope a little while ago.
I would like nothing more than to be in that minivan, happily cramped into the faux spaciousness (headroom yes, legroom no) with no purpose other than to go and make a certain citizen of Canmore (Canmorite? Canmorian?) extremely happy. Instead, I'm sitting here in the south side lounge, waiting to go to my midmorning na-- chem class and typing on a computer three letters behind.

the worst part isn't the disappointment, or the sadness, or, for that matter, the guy beside me who is reading english tabloid stories and shooting the occasional glance over here. it's the resignation; the utter and total knowledge that I knew I wouldn't make it.

it's moving from ;_; to :|

It's not me. It's never me. My problems are small, and generally easily solved.

so far I've missed:
- staying out during production week (no real reason).
- Coldplay (a wedding)
- Tent Drinking (had to babysit older brother)
- Canmore (first it was "moving". now it's "your sister's situation is stressing us out, and having you god-knows-where won't help anything")

I'd like to get angry and yell at people and possibly break things. It won't happen because it's not the way I do things. I'm going to finish this post, go grab a bagel, and head off to learn about intermolecular forces.

(because I have no home internet, here's something I meant to post yesterday)

wednesday night was.... interesting.
grabbed a friend, who is known to me (and Vanessa) as the one who didn't change after grade 12. actually, he hasn't changed since grade 9. it has its ups and downs - his house is the only place I can go and be left alone for hours at a time, but he has all the tact of a 14 year-old and an incessant need to be right.
went out for late-night AYCE sushi and damming - usually an equation for fun.
I didn't think it would go too well, and I was right.
we went, we dropped, we ran back to the car. ceramic fruit were better for tossing out of cars than for dropping off dams - doesn't matter now, because there's none left.
jake was unimpressed, I caught graham shooting shea a lot of looks at sushi, most of which said "get a load of this guy."
we were dropped off a little after midnight.

what made it all worth it, mind you, was the voicemail I got from graham shortly afterwards.
"without doubt, your friend is the biggest asshat I have met. Including Kazzer."
and then the rest of the message is a snippet from There There


July 09, 2003

had the weirdest dream last night:

I'm lying in bed (can't remember if I'm reading or if I'm going to bed), and my dad walks in, tosses a manila envelope onto my chest, says "this came for you" and then walks out.
I sit up in bed, open up the top... and my alarm clock went off.

I know it's not straight deja vu - when I get those, it's more like three seconds taken out of context, often a scene that I don't recognize, but will be in (at?) in the near future. I got a fair bit of those for AUS activities - the first few poster parties, and the time when I broke into chem with Eaton, and then went back with Spencer, Geoff England and an F-Master were ones that stick with me.

on the grand old scale of weird, it's not a huge deal, but something about it is on my mind, causing me to be writing this in the C-Block Mac Lab, and not be in my chem class.


July 05, 2003

well, shit.
there go my images.
[adds to list of things to do]

headphones got to paige safely.
[takes off list of things to worry about]

my sister's laptop keyboard confuses the hell out of me.
I miss my eight-button mouse.


July 04, 2003

was told that we're for sure not getting cable in delta.

I'm so becoming an internet hobo.

also, canadian keyboards are confusing as fuck.

current mood: amused
current music: Ladder to the Sun - Coldplay


July 03, 2003

cable's been cut.
today is my last day in east van.
all further updates will come from the office.



July 02, 2003

blogspot shoutout!

graham = awesome.

shower him with affection, but only if you are hot, female, and not in the greater vancouver area.
if you are hot, female, and in the greater vancouver area, shower me with affection.
no use wasting it, after all.


bad news: we'll be out of here by friday.

good news: there's a box of records, and a box with a sega genesis, two controllers and a bunch of games slated for donation to the salvation army.

Unless, of course, I want them for something.


July 01, 2003

moved most of my stuff out today.
it's the bed, clothes, portable audio gear (like I'd let that leave my sight), and THE GODDAMN RACK OF BANGLES that remain.

in happier news, I found my old "the first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers" t-shirt.
it's awesome because:
a) it's shakespeare.
b) it's from the best school trip I ever took.
c) it is, in fact, the shirt I removed for the "honk if you want more skin" section of the busride.


June 29, 2003

I almost wish I'd kept in touch with more of my highschool friends; reminiscing about days gone by as I rummage through the closet sort of loses its appeal when I can't pick the phone up, call someone who was there and use the words, "hey, remember when we did this?" about eighty million times.

such is life.


first couple rounds of moving today.

back hurts.


June 28, 2003

new design.
thoughts, please.


June 27, 2003

- got up every twenty minutes to blow my nose in chem class. this probably annoyed the fuck out of everyone around me, but kept me awake for the entire class, which was new and exciting.
- hung out in AMS Services offices. Amanda Klein is in the office next to Jon and Dingwall, and she always sees people walk right by. If you're reading this, and you go to see Team Inside, drop in and say hi. Amanda's really cool (I did want to be her assistant, after all), and you won't regret it.
- lunch with Jon and Spencer = all sorts of fun.
- ride home with Vanessa + slurpees = even better. I realize that I don't get to hear exciting Vanessa stories much because I don't shut up, so I made a note to do so more often. Also, Vanessa, I maintain that we should trade families, simply to see if anyone notices.
- bitchy father + packing = bad end to awesome day

- mango for breakfast. something everyone should do.
- bus ride music. am becoming 'intimate' with chili peppers like I am with radiohead. this is not a bad thing.
- intimacy with music = knowing the tiny details that make the experience better, like how the right-channel guitar in Scatterbrain never does the same thing twice in a row, or catching the synths in the "rain down" bit of Paranoid Android. Easier to do with good headphones/speakers, of course.
- class is beginning to make sense. this is good, because this whole passing thing seems easier, and bad, because it's Chemistry, and chemistry is evil.
- speech experiment with jon howell. I like jon howell; he's a good kid. Today was the first day I'd seen him since the ACF dinner, and it was silly/fun/wheeIamaguineapig!. Apparently, I have a nice tongue.
- visited a friend in kerrisdale. it was like being in grade 9 again, except with a gamecube instead of an N64. also watched loads of season four buffy.
- haven't decided on a new design, am open to suggestions.

also, visit Jayme.


June 25, 2003

did some rambling last night on a sheet of paper. I'll spare you the majority of it.
in short:
- I burned out after grade 12. like, atmospheric reentry. One needs a 55% average to stay in at UBC. my current average is 55.5%.
- I dislike having to be the mature one in a house where the next oldest person is 1.5 times my age.
- I like blue.
- This design is changing soon. It'll be up on blogskins eventually.

now, for today.


did you decide to unionize recently? Nothing else in society (or nature, for that matter) devotes so much of its time to doing exactly the wrong thing and saying "not my job" when questioned. What motivates you single-celled mafia to all sorts of violence against innocent pollens, dusts and danders that find their way into my nasal passages, while continually missing other, far more destructive invaders?
There's no excuse for this sort of behavior.
single-celled asshats, all of you.

(what brought this about? my rather severe allergies. and a cold. at the same time.)


June 21, 2003

things to do before leaving east van.

1. $6.95 dim sum.
2. get entertainingly high.
3. steal "earles" and "east 42nd" street signs.
4. pack.

who's in?


June 20, 2003

can't go to calgary.
moving to surrey lite.
can't find work.
chem starts monday.

can't find a silver lining in all these clouds.


June 17, 2003

throwing stuff off dams = awesome.

thanks for the kidnapping, guys.


June 15, 2003

my transit time just went from 40 minutes, to an hour and 40 minutes.

fucking. wonderful.

[or is going to be, you get the idea. I am displeased a month in advance.]


I currently live here.
I'm moving here.

wo wo tonight, indeed. [download the song, skip to 1:15, and listen for a bit]


June 14, 2003

had my group interview with the PNE today.
we were divided into groups, by last name, and then semi-randomly into tables.
so, I get to my table and we do introductions; everyone else was either in, or just leaving high school.

I know how Graham feels now.

you poor, poor soul.


June 13, 2003

quiz thievery!
this one's the soundtrack of my life.

Opening Credits: Doves, Firesuite
Waking-up Scene: Radiohead, Myxomatosis (the first minute, anyway, before I hit the snooze button)
Average-day scene: Air, La Femme D'Argent
Best-friend scene: Arrogant Worms, Carrot Juice is Murder (or something equally silly)
First-date scene: Suraj Hua Madham, from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. (staying true to my roots, my first date would involve frolicking in the alps, the desert, and on a beach)
Falling-in-love scene: Coldplay, Ladder to the Sun
Love scene: The Beatles, I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Fight-with-friend scene: Radiohead, Life in a Glass House
Break-up scene: Gorillaz, Double Bass (letting the fight be seen and not heard)
Get-back-together scene: Kylie, In Your Eyes
"Life's okay" scene: Sigur Ros, Untitled 3
Heartbreak scene: Radiohead, Scatterbrain
Mental-breakdown scene: Radiohead, Wolf At The Door
Driving scene: Bob Dylan, Desolation Row
Lesson-learning scene: Bjork, Immature
Deep-thought scene: Doves, The Man Who Told Everything
Flashback scene: J5, Improvise
Party scene: Hideki Naganuma, Sweet Soul Brother (from Jet Grind Radio)
Happy dance scene: Pizzicato 5, One Two Three
Regret scene: Coldplay, Amsterdam
Long-night-alone scene: The Verve, Bittersweet Symphony
Death scene: Doves, Last Broadcast
Closing credits: Radiohead, India Rubber


I should explain why this has me all panicky and strung out.

in my house, there's four of us.

My dad works at the post office, and is currently trying to start again in real estate. Thusly, he's not home a lot, and when he is, he's not inclined to do much aside from sitting around.
My mom does the majority of the cooking, moving organizational work and general homey stuff. Since school's been out, I've split (to the best of my ability) these chores with her.
My brother is broken. It's been a week since his shoulder was operated on, and he's well enough to go out, but not enough to be useful. If both arms worked, he'd barely be home.

So, once this whole surgery thing happens, who gets to carry the weight of a household?
It's looking like me, and I'm not terribly enthused.


June 10, 2003

oh, fucking wonderful.

"hey mom, what're we doing the weekend of July 12th?"
"I dunno. Don't think there's anything planned."
"Can I go to Calgary?"
[who/when/why omitted]
"We'll see."
"We'll see what?"
"I have back surgery on Monday."

...did I say things were getting better? It was probably just the eye of the storm.


June 09, 2003

new design, temporary fanboying because HTTT is out tomorrow, and I'll be too busy making copies (onto an MD, and mp3s for the computer.) to update it then.
tell me what you think - if there's enough positive response, then it'll stay like this, and the old design will go up on blogskins; if not, this one gets the boot.


June 08, 2003

father tinkle, would you sign please?

this really makes no sense unless you read the rest of the comic, which is something you should do. now.


June 07, 2003

I graduated a year ago today.

Funny, that. Doesn't feel like it's been a year.
Read through the annual I edited in the wee hours of last night - couldn't sleep between the heat and my brother's stereo thumping bass (imprecise and excessive) through the wall.
looked through the 280 people who crossed the stage; read their writeups. Realized that out of all 280, and the 28 who I'd had the majority of my classes with (minischool, y'know), I only really miss 6. Maybe 7.

so used to seeing them 5 days a week for 5 years, that the first year sort of passed without any realization.
of course, now that I'm stuck at home with the One-Armed B(r)other, this melancholy has to come along and kick me in the kidneys. No frogs, though.


June 05, 2003

surgery went faster than expected.
he didn't bring the xbox.
stupid brother.


June 04, 2003

spoke to my sister, she said that my brother-in-law might be able to get me a job doing midnight stocking (NOT stalking) for superstore.

finally got over my fear of being in the car with my brother - we tore down 41st in his Camaro, and I realized I was not in any way nervous. It started after car accident #3 - the really scary one in which my brother drove. I knew it wasn't his fault, but I was still jumpy as all hell in his car, so I did the rational thing: rode with him more often. At first, I spent large amounts of said car rides with my eyes closed, but things got better until today.


June 03, 2003

earlier today, I'm standing in Roger's Video, filling out an application for employment.

questions include the standard "why do you want to work for us", "why you", and "what brought you to us."
there was also one on my favorite movie (I said Bollywood/Hollywood, and I still can't quite figure out why).

the second to last question was "describe an event where you witnessed or experienced exceptional customer service."
having hermitted it up for the last little while didn't help; total and utter brain shutdown.

until, of course, I remembered this.

that was my shining example.
Graham, if I get that job, you'll probably find a couple more New Release credits on your card. or some sort of movie-based thanking.


stuff's been difficult as of late; my sister's father-in-law died, I can't seem to find a job, my mom's back is getting worse, my brother's shoulder requires surgery, we're moving to surrey, and all sorts of random other dumb shit.

I have, however, clung (rather stubbornly) to the belief that once I rode this out, things would get better.

I think it just started doing that.

got an email today from Sony of Canada - I half-expected it to be spam, because I'd entered a contest on their website - and of course, they wanted my email address - so I gave them the spare. I check it once, maybe twice weekly, and it's always overflowing with crap. Surprisingly, this wasn't more of the same.

Hello Gerald,
Congratulations on being selected to win one Net MD party package, each party
package consists the following prizes:
1 DJ headphone model number MDRV500DJ
1 USB speaker model number SRST100PC
5 mini discs
Thank-you for your participation in the Super Track Attack Contest!
Attached is the release form for the Net MD party package.

Please print, fill out and sign the release form. Please mail and fax the
completed release form by 5:00 PM EST Tuesday June 17, 2003 to the following:
Sony Style - Super Track Attack Contest
blah road
blah, ON
blah blah blah

Fax this release form also to (no number for you!), Attention: Sony Style - Super
Track Attack Contest .
Your prize will be sent to you within 6 weeks of the receipt of your completed
mailed release form by Sony Style.
Have a great day!
Best regards,
Sony Style Canada
(no number for you!)

Thank you for your continued interest in Sony products, and good luck!

Please feel free to contact us if you have any other questions.

for those of you that are curious, here's the product pages for the things I won.
the headphones
the speakers
the blank MDs


May 29, 2003

as I walked a friend through her course planning (she's going into science next year), I realized I should probably start thinking about my own schedule.

so, here's what I'm sure about:
- PSYC 217/218
- 2 ENGL courses (I'm thinking Drama and Literature in the US)
- BIOL 121 (which I failed)
- CHEM 123 (the followup to the chem class that I failed, and am taking in july)
- VISA 180
- ANTH 100

that's 25 credits, and I need another 9 (to bring me up to 34).


two more things:

1) it's becoming more and more certain that we're moving to s(l)urrey. the only person with only real ties here is me, and as 18 years of experience have told me, I am very rarely considered when houses are chosen, if I am considered at all. (see also: 17.9 roomless years)

2) chris payne won't water the AUS plants (see comments box for our MSN conversation), so if someone else could, that'd be awesome.


May 28, 2003

two things:

1) no assistant job for me.
2) UBC thinks I'm still a first-year student (I am, technically), so my registration date is June 13th. Now, is this good or bad?


May 27, 2003

just fiddling with the blog to kill time.
tell me what you think.


May 24, 2003

I hate Indian weddings.

Marriage is wonderful, yes, but the inevitable stupidity that results from it make my head spin (figuratively).
So much so, in fact, that I started keeping a list of Laws of Indian Weddings just to keep myself amused.

1. Law of Ridiculous Family Size
When inviting people to your wedding, you must also include everyone they know, even if you don't know their names.

1a. Addendum
You don't invite people to your wedding. A crack team, led by your mother and aunts, sit around for half a day remembering [obscure cousin's] mother-in-law's sister's husband's brother's friends name, so that they can invite them.

2. Law of Inverse Simplicity
No matter how simple a task seems, it will become mind numbingly complex.
ex: the wedding I was at last night had three different sets of party favors - one set for tables at the front, one for tables at the back, and candles for people with gifts.

3. Law of Endless Workloads
The more you have to do, the more you are given to do.

4. The Celebrity Rule
The less you are seen, the more people want to see you.

5. The Law of Inverse Ability
The better you are at something, the less likely you are to do said thing.

6. The Lost Children Law
Whenever you really, really have to be somewhere/do something, someone's child will be lost, and approach you for help.

6a. The Vomit Addendum
If your clothes are new or difficult to clean, chances are you will get vomited on while attempting to help said children.

6b. The Parent Addendum
Once the child is returned to its parents, they will be far too busy berating the child to thank you, let alone acknowledge your existence.

7. Indian Standard Time
No matter what time you write down, the majority of people will show up one to two hours later.

7a. People You Don't Like Addendum
People you don't like, however, will be on time, and annoyingly helpful, making you like them less, so that they show up earlier the next time.

that's all for now - post more in the comments if you can think of 'em.


May 20, 2003

couple micro-updates: Jayme's been sucked in.
something else has changed, but I'll leave that to you to find out.


May 17, 2003

headphone moment:

listening to "everything's not lost" live from montreal, and I hear the person in the row behind the taper sneeze.
I don't realize this, of course, so I say "gesundheit" to my brother, who occupies roughly where I heard the sneeze coming from.
He looks at me funny, then I go back about ten seconds, and feel like a bit of a fool.



May 15, 2003

so I could've gone to the coldplay show.
I could've spent my elections clerk money (thanks, owen!) and bought floor seats
I could be going, next friday, to see my first concert (where I'm not staff), a band who I enjoy immensely.

But I'm not.
Because I didn't.
For a wedding, where I would be the photographer.
But I'm not.
Because they hired someone. (fair enough, it's your wedding)
But they did not think to tell me.

So, next Friday, I will be stuck for approximately six hours at an Indian wedding, being very angry, and masking it.
Masking it like I have to - it is a wedding, and it's not important, right?

But there's nothing I can do.
I can't skip the wedding (what would people say? asks my mother; what does it matter? is my response)
I can't afford tickets like the ones I would've had.

So, next Friday, I will be stuck for approximately six hours at an Indian wedding, being very angry, and masking it.

If someone gets married on the 31st of August...
fuck 'em. I'm busy.


May 14, 2003

Reorganized the links to the left - a couple new people and places to visit.

Wigu, Scary Go Round, and Return to Sender are all webcomics, and Mocking Horse Improv is something you have to go to on a Saturday night...

additionally, does anyone want to recommend another blog provider, or hook me up with a LiveJournal (or somesuch) account code? blogspot seems to be horribly mauling my archives, and this makes me a sad panda.
[UPDATE: I fixed it.]


May 12, 2003

holy shit I'm evil.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test


May 11, 2003

I want.

Cadillac CTS + Corvette LS6 V8 = yes please.


May 09, 2003

TEEN LINGO: The Source for Youth Ministry

read now.
thank me later, or I'ma bust a cap in yo' grill.

did I say that right?

this person is a genius.
genius, continued

you can tell I'm bored at home tonight.


May 02, 2003

I just passed on a job, solely because of a gut feeling.

am I crazy?


May 01, 2003

I am not prepared for a summer this long.
last night was a lot of fun, and even though I don't expect it to happen weekly, or even monthly, going to the beach with a load of friends, some alcohol (in recycling bins full of ice) and a guitar is stupid amounts of fun. if on cue, "the scientist" just started.

in any case, here's my Summer Non-Plan, in no real order.

1) find a job. or two.
2) start learning to play either drums or guitar. I'm leaning towards guitar, because I have no way of fitting a drum kit anywhere in this house, and I doubt I'll get space in the new one (if we're staying in SE Vancouver).
3) get into more music. britrock is cool, but I'd like to expand. So far, I've found that I like d&b (among other things), but I have no clue where to start.
4) buy bootlegging gear, most likely this, and some sort of microphone + battery box deal.
5) do the radiohead roadtrip with sean & aleks. highly unlikely, given my parents, but it might be worth a try.
6) bootleg concerts from #5, using gear from #4.
7) pick up a martial art.
8) get my N.
9) figure out if I want to keep the Cavalier, or take my brother's setup out of it, polish that fucker up, and get something else.

more as they come to me, I guess.
thoughts and suggestions are, as always, welcome.


April 30, 2003

I know I haven't been posting anything meaningful as of late, and this is only going to continue the trend.
I'll be introspectful later. I swear.



April 29, 2003

You're Hobbes!
You're Hobbes!

Which Calvin and Hobbes Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


April 28, 2003

Kalashnikov in MP3

here's one person I wouldn't have the MD v MP3 argument with...


April 27, 2003

home. bored. killing time before game.


I'm a generally unfuckwitted, liberal, not-too-generous, not-too-selfish, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Take the Affliction Test Today!

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Rectal D.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

My Mormon name is Derald DeAaron!
What's yours?

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?


April 26, 2003

stealing Graham's Random Thought(tm) Posting Style;

- not enthused at all about moving - this is the house I've grown up in, and all kitsch aside, I just don't want to go.

- fuck, whatever. hopefully my next room will not be: a) lime. fucking. green or b) have any sort of goddamn bangle rack.

- jobhunt is getting progressively worse, just applied for jobs at futureshop and visions; this is looking like a two-jobs-and-a-class summer.

- I could do with a bender about now.

- this too shall pass. like any good burrito, Payne says.


April 25, 2003

in happier news, it looks like I just won a microphone and battery box.
go me.

[nope. it was for the first two people, and I was #3]


I swear, things can't stay good. ever.

house we're living in is being sold; got the eviction notice today.
my dad wants to move to surrey.



April 24, 2003

done exams.
headphones are awesome - if you want a listen, I'm more than happy to oblige; just remind me to bring the extension cord.

hi Jackie!


April 22, 2003

they're here.
I can't stop grinning.



get home from the mall.
find notice on door.

"we were unable to deliver your item. please pick it up from (random place in richmond) after 4 pm today."

[that's my head against the keyboard]


April 21, 2003

so close, yet so far.

two... more... exams.


April 19, 2003

note to all readers: comments are temporarily down, dunno when they'll be back.

Jill's party sounded like it would've been fun.
stupid conscience.


April 17, 2003

Track & Trace

let's tracking! (I love Engrish)
anyone familiar with the time difference between here and Japan?


April 16, 2003

things I hate:

- the radio in my head that insists on playing the last half of 2 + 2 = 5, the first half of myxomatosis, and assorted bits of the last broadcast while I'm trying to write an essay on post-colonial identity as expressed by contemporary writers.

- my back. I just turned 18. why the fuck do I have chronic back pain?!

- tracking numbers that don't work. I know they're between here and Osaka, but where between here and Osaka are they?

- buying things on the internet with money orders.

- the rack of bangles - photos up when I'm at home.

- people on the bus who look at me funny 'cause I'm rocking a fauxhawk (for my UBC card photo)


April 15, 2003

while I'm in a reflective mode, I'd like to thank Dingwall and Vanessa and Graham, without whom I'd never have read The Source without which I'd never have joined the AUS, without which I'd never have done anything worthwhile in my first year.

I don't think any of them read this, but if someone would direct them over here, that'd be smashing.


had a fun day in the office.
hung out before/after exam, looked at photos, went for dinner.
saw someone actually use "see above" in a conversation.
it was just nice to get out after copious amounts of studying.

had a chat with chris payne about silly things to do with birthday money, and that was a fun car ride.
it's neat to be done school, I guess, but I really have no clue how I'm going to handle four months without at least weekly contact from these (wonderful) people.
things could be worse, I suppose.


April 14, 2003

coolest. ad. ever.


returning something given to me a couple of days ago:

back in october, I sat with Spencer on the couches at Whistler and judged people. Not really, truly judging them, but more in a lackadaisical manner. After that, I saw him wear a wig as a beard, when he became the gumbo guy at "Mardi Gras". Somewhere between those two events, I decided that this was definitely someone I wanted to hang out with more. And I did.
And I'm glad I did.


am 18.
this last year's been a big shift, in a lot of ways, and I wouldn't have gotten through it as (relatively) smoothly as I did without a lot of help from a lot of people.
you know who you are. thanks, guys.


April 13, 2003

looked in the mirror this morning.
saw something new behind my eyes.
I could get used to it.


April 12, 2003

trying to get the string quartet airbag and the radiohead airbag sync'd, and it's not working too well - I either lose alignment on the bassline or the vocals, which is a total pain in the ass.
any thoughts?


went on a downloading binge, and kazaa gave me:
phone booth - watch the trailer and the last five minutes and you're set.
a doves concert - halfway through, but I'm liking it. lots.
strung out on ok computer - I'm such a geek, but this is definitely enjoyable. replacing radiohead with a string quartet works pretty damn well.

I really hope that the rumour is true.


web survey/quiz, courtesy of Spencer (see list to left for link)

-B A S I C S-
[my name is]: Gerald Jagdishwar Deo
[height?]: somewhere around 5'10" these days
[in the morning i am]: happy to get out of my house, unless I'm stuck at home for the day.
[all i need is]: to get rid of the rack of bangles
[love is]: yes.
[if i could see one person right now]: it's not the same without a posse.
[i'm afraid of]: other people running my life.
[i dream about]: the future. I have the strangest deja vu at times.

-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[pictured your crush naked?]: no.
[actually seen your crush naked]: no.
[been in love]: who hasn't?
[cried when someone died]: death, no.
[lied]: what the fuck sort of dumb question is that? of course I've lied.

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: coke.
[flowers or candy]: candy, because it doesn't make me sneeze.
[tall or short]: it's all contextual.

-W I T H . T H E . O P P O S I T E . S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: eyes, then laugh.
[last person you slow danced with]: one of my best friends, at grad.
[worst question to ask]: if you were a man and I was a woman, would you do me?

-W H O-
[makes you laugh the most?]: Graham, Spencer, Dingwall, Virginia, Jayme, Emily and Owen.
[makes you smile]: Paige, V, Naf, Payne, Scottford. oh, and Jenn Lau, because I get to embarrass Chris Eaton.
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: Chris Eaton. exchanging threats is fun!
[who do you have a crush on?]: I'm not telling.
[has a crush on you?]: ignorance is bliss.
[easiest to talk to]: Naf, Spencer, Payne.

-D O . Y O U . E V E R-
[Stay on aim, waiting for someone special to IM you]: no. I'd call.
[save aol/aim conversations]: on trillian, so it happens automatically.
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: no, from a strictly aerodynamic standpoint.
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: not recently.

-H A V E . Y O U . E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: yeah, but we worked it out
[been rejected?]: of course. ASS.
[rejected someone]: see above.
[used someone]: not for a long time.
[done something you regret]: yeah.

-W H O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: my brother, in Las Margaritas.
[hugged]: Payne.
[kissed]: My mom.
[you instant messaged]: Spencer.
[instant messaged you?]: Random girl from my BIOL 140 class.
[you laughed with]: Payne, during the ride home.
[you yelled at]: my brother.

-D O . Y O U / / A R E . Y O U-
[color your hair]: No.
[habla espanol]: enough to say that I don't.
[smoke cigarettes]: No.
[obsessive]: A little.
[could you live without the computer?]: yes, but it wouldn't be nearly as fun.
[how many people are on your buddylist?]: 65 + whatever I haven't ported over from ICQ, which would make it something like 200.
[what's your favorite food?]: I prefer not to restrict myself.
[drink alchohol?]: yes.
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: it's who you're with that matters more.
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional.
[trust others way too easily?]: Not really.

-C U R R E N T S-
[Clothes]: plain gray t-shirt, black shorts with grey stripes down the side.
[Mood]: refreshed.
[Music]: Radiohead - 2 + 2 = 5
[Taste]: mucus - I hate colds.
[Hair]: yes.
[Annoyance]: how the new antenna on my phone refuses to go in.
[Smell]: none - cold.
[thing I ought to be doing]: studying, cleaning, sleeping...
[Desktop Picture]: picture I took in the car at night.
[CD in CD Player]: CDs, pah. I have both Doves albums in the MD.
[DVD In Player]: whatever "best of" random indian movie star my mom watched last....
[Color Of Toenails]: transparent.
[Refreshment]: water.
[Worry]: exams, health, summer being stupidly long.

-A R E . Y O U-
[Understanding]: I like to think so.
[Open-minded]: see above. or below. whatever you feel like.
[Arrogant]: try not to be.
[Insecure]: at times...
[Interesting]: try to be
[Hungry]: Nope - I think my mom thinks I haven't eaten all week.
[Friendly]: yes.
[Smart]: yes, but it's outweighed by the giant slacker in me
[Moody]: Yes but I hide it well.
[Childish]: in a good way.
[Independent]: I try.
[Hard working]: when motivated.
[Organized]: when motivated.
[Healthy]: I was raised on curry.
[Shy]: Only with women that I'm interested in and only when it comes to saying I'm interested.
[Difficult]: only when it's amusing
[Bored Easily]: depends on the activity
[Messy]: I'm teenage, and male. that's a given.
[Thirsty]: A little.
[Responsible]: working on it.
[Obsessed]: here and there.
[Angry]: about certain things
[Sad]: largely contextual.
[Happy]: more often than not.
[Trusting]: Yes.
[Abby]: o_O
[Talkative]: depends who
[Original]: I try
[Ignored]: when I want to be.
[Reliable]: as much as possible.
[Content]: not. at. all.
[Optimistic]: have I argued with the parents yet?
[Deep thinker]: sorry, what? I spaced out.
[Self-disciplined]: getting there.
[Sleepy]: no.
[Lonely]: I could do with company, yeah.


April 11, 2003


the last four days have been nothing short of ridiculous.
put on a rock concert with an amazing team of people, got trenchfoot, dealt with Kazzer's tour manager, watched topless mech-bull-rider (with mini-donuts), almost busted out Ludacris in the car with my mom, somehow managed to manage a stage with only one major fuckup, and fuck, I can't say this alone, so I'm going to steal from other people's blogs.

"Manic. Polar. Exhausted, with mandatory alcohol injection.

We, uh, did it.

And I need to write about it, but I just can't, right now. Because I'm absolutely terrified about the fact that it's over. That those climactic nine hours are gone in a smear of unexpected sunlight and grass and silver cases and quick but sincere hugs. And ... it's not just the day that's over - but - ..."

"I think, that, yes - if Wednesday was one of the greatest things I've ever been a part of, and I'm happier now than I've ever, ever been at home - oh.

I understand, I just got it.

Next year can't be as good as this. For a multitude of reasons, but namely because nothing is supposed to be as good as this, right now. I'm not supposed to feel this way about anything - and I'm convinced, you see, that as soon as I let it go it'll be gone forever. It won't come back after four months. I won't be able to find it. It. Happiness, I guess. Contentment, joy, purpose - cliches, all of them, I know."

that was gratuitous, yes, but Paige has a far better grasp on this language than I do.
and she's hot. (and I know you read this, so no, I don't like you *that* way. but you are the only girl who has ever geeked out with me on headphones, and for that, you hold a special spot in my heart.well, closer to my eardrums, but you get the idea)

slept in res wednesday night - it was cool, but I was *so* glad to come back to my bed.

the people. the people just blow my mind, viciously and repeatedly. I love them all.
everyone is just amazing, for working through rain that almost broke a record (1 mm away), to sacrificing their boyginity for the weather (don't ask), I, er, wow.

I'll do a day-by-day breakdown later.


April 07, 2003

so I can't stay with graham for ACF.


[update: I was driven to/from home every night but wednesday, and I'd guesstimate a total sleep loss of about six hours because of it. not just transit time, but time spent arguing with parents. on wednesday, when I did stay with graham, things went well.]


April 06, 2003

sister update: she's being transferred to another branch, to work with one of her best friends, she's getting cable too (copycat), and her husband seems to have gotten over things.

now, to get her to remove the GODDAMN RACK OF BANGLES.
pictures later.

current music: Doves - M62 Song
current mood: excited


April 05, 2003

today was a good day. got to poster party a little late, went off with chris eaton to the science buildings on a fact-finding mission.
got door codes into said buidings. holy jesus batman, people who choose said door codes are geeks.

since our original prank target was unworkable, we opted to do the chem building.
this meant I ended up on the roof of the chem building, courtesy of one F-master.
that was supremely cool.
hung out in the office with spencer, wreaked havoc on Lianne's MSN (you can't leave it on in the office), and we noticed that said F-master did not say "DO NOT COPY".
I will say no more.

two final things:
a) masturbingo (I laughed until I cried)
b) the fair, the f-master, the headphones, my birthday, my two job apps. I am stupidly stoked.


April 04, 2003

I just had a two-hour chat with Paige. I didn't really know her prior to it, but damn, that girl is cool.

from headphones to coldplay to radiohead to general geekdom.


oh, and I ordered THE HEADPHONES. I'm stupidly stoked.


April 03, 2003

radiohead album is leaked pre-production.
oh well, it still sounds awesome.


March 31, 2003

it's 2am.
I'm working on this anthro project - one more page.

until then, I have the new Radiohead album to keep me company.



March 30, 2003

I'm at school. Been here since 9am, in fact.
I don't mind at all.
The AUS has saved me from the barren wasteland that is the arcade, and converted me into someone who hangs around the (swank) office. I love them for it; dunno how much arcade money this saves me, but it sure as hell covers my slurpees.

working on the anthro project that I was trying to avoid yesterday - it's not so bad, I'm mostly done, as it were.

things seem to be going well enough, right?
I wish.

today's problem involves my need to stay on campus during production week (basically, it's where we assemble Arts County Fair) I don't mind the long nights or the work-filled days, I just don't want to have to commute from home to school for 12+ hour days.
of course, my parents worry whenever I'm away for overnight periods (MASS opening? I got three phone calls), so four days without seeing me is implausible at best.
add this to the fact that everything seems to be going wrong for my sister, and I'm stuck at home.

I'll quit my moaning now. At least I'm well-fed (man, am I ever)


March 29, 2003

and it's three for the first day.
done nothing all day, in fact, I spent a good chunk of today reading Something Positive, one of the most incredibly offensive and amusing webcomics I've seen in a good long time.
damn you, Spencer!

the only other thing I've done is make a new MD containing both albums by The Doves.
I'd love to go off about who they are, but I don't know either.

but I was having a nice uneventful Saturday, when my (married) sister calls home, says something to my dad, which results in him and my mom hauling ass out to her house. It's not very far away, but them dropping everything and leaving is weird as fuck. I don't like this, because my brother-in-law is being an absolute jerk, and I would like nothing more than to set him straight.
With a hammer and live sewer rats.

As far as I know, he's being an ass about a lot of things, stemming from the fact that my sister was engaged before she met him. Normally, I'd understand, but I don't think it should be a problem WHEN SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS THE DAY SHE MET YOU.

really, now. grow up. you're married. let it go.

I should mention something; even though my sister is a fair bit older than I am, I'm still very protective of her. Weird habit, I know, but it makes her feel a lot better about stuff, and given what she's dealing with, anything I can do is good.
did I mention she's losing her job?

random, random thought: does anyone else find foie gras as gross as I do?