1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?
saw the third anniversary of a workplace, grew an even fuller beard, acquired a goddamn rainbow of pants, lost a bunch of weight trying to convince myself I wasn’t falling in love, let go of a thing I had wanted but realized no longer made sense, conga lined in a strip club, was in a stable relationship with someone in the same city, caved to someone asking me to be their roommate, actually met up with people from location-aware apps, went somewhere colder for a vacation, had a fender bender, went to a gay wedding, was a groomsman, actually had to start figuring out how not to match outfits with someone, made nougat, kept a toothbrush at someone else’s place, developed a whole emoji language and received an actual physical mixtape. Somewhere in here I should shoehorn the phrase: underpants advent calendar.
oh, and I came out to my parents.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
2014: man, fuck a resolution. I have some goals about languages and moving and debt freedom but nothing I’m going to tie to yearly cycles.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! More friend-babies happened.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. Two friends committed suicide (separately) and I still don’t know what to make of it.
5. What countries did you visit?
Kicked it North America styles; two trips east (one Montreal/Toronto, one Toronto;) and two to Portland. Also we went to Yale (the one just north of Hope,) Victoria, and Pender Island.
6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
a clearer career path, a smaller waist size, the ability to pare my belongings down to an absolute minimum. Maybe my degree? Let’s go with that.
7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
New Years Day, watching Dune and not watching Dune; being a Street Fighter ringer, decisions made on decision couch, that time at Bitter when I got told, Valentine’s Day/drag show/beary godmother (and subsequent reappearances thereof,) “oh hey it’s the 29th,” someone else’s party on my actual birthday, saying things I had left unsaid for too long, skipping a house party to have another couch talk, little dude’s first birthday, the wig party, Yale, my dad getting on my case about settling down and the explanation he wasn’t sure he wanted, PDXcellent, Ladner weddings and double bouquet catches, phone calls from Jordie, phone call from Jackie, Portland bachelor party, cross-country flights and inadvertent matching outfits, Rob’s wedding weekend shenanigans, Stevemas, boxing day facetimes, Pender Island New Years.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I let go of some things, and I came out to my parents.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I owe more money than I’d like. Also, I’m still working at a place I dislike increasingly and I don’t know what getting out looks like.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Strep throat, also now I get cold sores.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
probably the X100s.
aside from that: new glasses, all the plane tickets, underpants advent calendar.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
They know who they are.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
They know who they are, too.
14. Where did most of your money go?
debt, travel, stupid shit, single malts.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
The National - Graceless. Beach House and Wishes are a close second, if only for that video.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner, which I'm working on.
c) richer or poorer? richer, marginally.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Admitting, saving, giving myself room to breathe.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
buying stuff I didn't need.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home, getting ready for Boxing Day madness at work.
21. Did you fall in love in 2013?
oh man did I ever.
22. How many one-night stands?
two, though I guess they’re more vacation flings. I tried to have a casual relationship and we were terrible at it, but now I’m contentedly in love. Worse things have happened.
23. What was your favourite TV program?
Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Korra was pants, Drag Race remained solid, I haven’t gotten around to watching Arrested Development’s latest season nor Game of Thrones.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nobody new, but it's not like it was a long list to begin with.
25. What was the best book you read?
This Is How You Lose Her, followed by the Canal House cookbooks.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Rhye and Waxahatchee; somehow this was the year I got into Vampire Weekend.
27. What did you want and get?
A way out of what felt like a holding pattern.
28. What did you want and not get?
clarity? I think this is less a thing to receive and more a thing to create.
29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Pacific Rim, because certainly you can’t go wrong with robots and giant monsters but also it was really good.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28. Once again, friends had their party on my actual damn birthday.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Just one? More money in the bank would have taken care of most of my headaches, really.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
colored khakis, hella oxfords, bow tie explosion.
33. What kept you sane?
I'm not really sure. I'm generally not, having come to the conclusion that if I think too much about it whatever tenuous balance I've attained will topple.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I didn’t, really?
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
I still can’t donate blood. Also guns in the US continue to alarm me.
36. Who did you miss?
aside from Rob Peters and Trevor, I think I made it east enough times to see the people I miss over there enough; this was the tentative reintroduction of Neil, and I don’t see nearly enough of Kat, Tara, or Spencer any more, largely because I spend more spare time in the West End and less on the West Side, now.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Steve escapes this one on a technicality (our first date was two days before 2012 ended;) but all his people don’t; Tyson, Cory, Nick, “Ivor”, and Kump are rad dudes. There’s a batch of new people at work who are working out pretty okay, too.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:
man, if you lose twenty pounds stressing out about falling for a dude you should listen to your body and just go ahead and fall for him.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“I’m a fool for that shake in your thighs
I'm a fool for that sound in your sighs
Im a fool for your belly
Im a fool for your love”
— Rhye, “Open”
“I am not my rosy self
Left my roses on my shelf
Take the white ones, they're my favorite
It's the side effects that save us”
— The National, “Graceless”
January 14, 2014
1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?