January 01, 2013

another year, another little survey deal.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
saw the second anniversary of a workplace, actually managed to stay in a relationship for a year, had a one-night stand, caved to internet dating, went to a high-school reunion, saw a net reduction in the number of books I own, came out to my siblings, grew an even fuller beard, started thinking about what I want my 30s to look like. I made plans to leave Vancouver, only to realize I'd done the right things for the wrong reasons and another year made the most sense.

oh, and I got my heart broken.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

leave the city: no
get out of debt: no
leave the closet: my siblings know, so a little bit?

2013: learn javascript and python, regain the ability to speak French, get out of debt and get ducks in a row for Belleville.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! I have a nephew, now.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
I went to Portland, once, and that was about it.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
a clearer career path, a smaller waist size, the ability to pare my belongings down to an absolute minimum.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
New Years and straight-dude-makeout-offs, brunch, and secrets; Toronto trip and the beginning of the end; Bad Decisions Night; my sister and I dropping a couple facades;  Radiohead in Seattle; The Wooden Sky show at the Biltmore and the acoustic closing bits; birth of the little dude; the PDXcellent trip; Wye Oak/Dirty Projectors, the weeks of my parents' absence; advance breakup information release, the ton of launches.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I got into a school that I'd been wanting to attend for an age (only to realize it wasn't yet doable.) Also I wrote basically a dissertation (8,000 words!) on things I learned after the end of my relationship, which was useful for me and apparently enlightening for others.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I half-baked a plan to leave so I could be closer to a dude who was in the process of falling out of love with me, and even after we ended things I was pretty set on going forth; I'm not sure if the ultimate decision not to go ahead with it or the fact that I even went there was the failure in question but I guess that's what hindsight is for.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had to have a root canal, also some serious heartache, but otherwise not really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Marty the Retina MBP.
Honorable mentions: cardigans, another trip to Portland, the 70-200/2.8L lens.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
They know who they are.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
They know who they are, too.

14. Where did most of your money go?
debt, travel, stupid shit, single malts.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
leaving (until I didn't,) my new nephew, future life goals.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Wye Oak - "Civilian" and Fiona Apple - "Werewolf" (though the RAA's Stamp is an honorable mention.)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? thinner, which I'm working on.
c) richer or poorer? richer, marginally.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Admitting, saving, giving myself room to breathe.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
waking up alone, being the world's mopiest nerd, buying stuff I didn't need.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home, getting ready for Boxing Day madness at work.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
nope, though I may have broken someone's heart.

22. How many one-night stands?
one, and I'm not sure if I'm up for another.

23. What was your favourite TV program?
Homeland, RuPaul's Drag Race, The Legend of Korra.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nobody new, but it's not like it was a long list to begin with.

25. What was the best book you read?
fiction: 1Q84 almost by default; a lot of the other stuff I read this year was either schlocky or unfinished.
photo book: the catalog from the Alexander McQueen at the NY Met is gorgeous.
cookbook: the smitten kitchen book.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
It was a good year: Bat for Lashes, Hood, Baroness, Beach House, Purity Ring, Swans, Tim Hecker, Fucked Up, and The Men.

27. What did you want and get?
a new macbook, a couple lenses, physical and psychic preparations for leaving.

28. What did you want and not get?
an amicable breakup, if such a thing was possible; also I didn't get out.

29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Moonrise Kingdom, though if I'd seen Cloud Atlas I'd probably put it here.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
27, and I joined in on the Ricardobel Birthday festivities.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Just one? More money in the bank would have taken care of most of my headaches, really.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
camo, chambray, cardigans, and florals.

33. What kept you sane?
I'm not really sure. I'm generally not, having come to the conclusion that if I think too much about it whatever tenuous balance I've attained will topple.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Anderson Cooper? Paul Rudd? Damian Lewis? Whatever, I'm easy.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
gun control in the states, the slow unfolding of gay marriage across the US, the continued blood ban.

36. Who did you miss?
I miss Rob more than anybody; Hayles and Kristen aren't far behind, so this trip I'm planning for Easter is pretty pleasing to me.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
A bunch of coworkers: Dickie, Keegan, Spooner, BZ, Greenie and Adam make work bearable most days, and this year I reconnected pretty seriously with one Andrew, aka Chinny; between the couch and the pep talks and the shopping buddy-dom, I don't know if I'd have made it through this year in quite the same shape without him.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:

I loved a man (my first), it didn't work, my heart was broken, and while I couldn't put it back together in exactly the same way, it became clear, over time, that this wasn't a bad thing.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Pacing down the balance beam of half-remembered holidays
No rush of light, no sign of belonging
No joy in building, love in the finishing
Chasing down an anodyne and half-reflected radiance
Shearwater, "Animal Life"

I don't need another friend
When most of them
I can barely keep up with them
Perfectly able to hold my own hand
But I still can't kiss my own neck
Wye Oak, "Civilian"