December 27, 2003

I want to be able to take things at face value.

Surrey frustrates me.
Delta angers me.
Even after 6 months, Vancouver is home; not where I sleep, but where I live.

I miss looking out my window and seeing trees along the sidewalk.
I miss the 41.
I miss a lot of things I'll never have again, lost and inconsequential, but mourned nonetheless.

This place, with its pink walls and dingy grey carpet, footsteps heard through the ceiling and lemurs in the bedrooms, seems to inspire a full-body ennui; as if any and all fun was sucked out of it, viciously and constantly.
and I can't leave.
I have to be the supportive one; the one who keeps it all together (or appears to) as things shudder, twist and ultimately change.

If you're reading this and being all confused because this isn't like me, know that I'm just as puzzled. I know that I'll pick up and move on, eventually; it's the waiting that's the tough bit.

Do I use too many semicolons?

mood: discontent
music: Blur - Music is My Radar

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