July 11, 2003

it's 8:30. assuming that the gang left at 5am (you said 4:30, but we're talking about Spencer here), they should have passed Hope a little while ago.
I would like nothing more than to be in that minivan, happily cramped into the faux spaciousness (headroom yes, legroom no) with no purpose other than to go and make a certain citizen of Canmore (Canmorite? Canmorian?) extremely happy. Instead, I'm sitting here in the south side lounge, waiting to go to my midmorning na-- chem class and typing on a computer three letters behind.

the worst part isn't the disappointment, or the sadness, or, for that matter, the guy beside me who is reading english tabloid stories and shooting the occasional glance over here. it's the resignation; the utter and total knowledge that I knew I wouldn't make it.

it's moving from ;_; to :|

It's not me. It's never me. My problems are small, and generally easily solved.

so far I've missed:
- staying out during production week (no real reason).
- Coldplay (a wedding)
- Tent Drinking (had to babysit older brother)
- Canmore (first it was "moving". now it's "your sister's situation is stressing us out, and having you god-knows-where won't help anything")

I'd like to get angry and yell at people and possibly break things. It won't happen because it's not the way I do things. I'm going to finish this post, go grab a bagel, and head off to learn about intermolecular forces.

---
(because I have no home internet, here's something I meant to post yesterday)

wednesday night was.... interesting.
grabbed a friend, who is known to me (and Vanessa) as the one who didn't change after grade 12. actually, he hasn't changed since grade 9. it has its ups and downs - his house is the only place I can go and be left alone for hours at a time, but he has all the tact of a 14 year-old and an incessant need to be right.
went out for late-night AYCE sushi and damming - usually an equation for fun.
I didn't think it would go too well, and I was right.
we went, we dropped, we ran back to the car. ceramic fruit were better for tossing out of cars than for dropping off dams - doesn't matter now, because there's none left.
jake was unimpressed, I caught graham shooting shea a lot of looks at sushi, most of which said "get a load of this guy."
we were dropped off a little after midnight.

what made it all worth it, mind you, was the voicemail I got from graham shortly afterwards.
"without doubt, your friend is the biggest asshat I have met. Including Kazzer."
and then the rest of the message is a snippet from There There

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