May 15, 2005

progress report

slightly edited conversation with Neil.
it's surprising what four-month-old babies can teach you.

more pseudocut action
Neil: yeah. How's it going? Feeling any better?
gerald`: hugely.
gerald`: I think writing it out made me realize what it was instead of letting it be simply a rather high-level malaise
gerald`: and then I could start dealing with it
gerald`: so, um, good work on your part.
Neil: that's good. Is it just a matter of needing to quit one of your jobs?
Neil: yes, uh, that's what I'm here for....
gerald`: nope. like things are ever that simple.
Neil: true
gerald`: I'm leaving one at the end of the summer.
gerald`: the only real thing to do about work/work/work/work/school/school is to stay organized and thereby on top of things
gerald`: so I bought a dayplanner
gerald`: for three dollars!
gerald`: and I've been using it
gerald`: of course, knowing that I have 7 hours of work tomorrow followed by two hours of meetings and then three of class doesn't make it any better, it just means that I know it's happening tomorrow.
Neil: that's good. Don't be afraid to prioritize the things you want and what's important to you. If you live only for others you'll regret it and then there won't be anything you can do about it.
Neil: ....that wasn't so profound that it shut you up, was it?
gerald`: no, started another conversation
gerald`: also was trying to figure out how best to bring up last night, in which I saw a cousin and her husband who had managed to walk the line I'm supposed to aspire to
Neil: oh. so I'm no longer important to you. I see. I go stand in a corner and weep silently then.
Neil: that was a good way of bringing it up.
gerald`: and were definitely more interested in what I'm up to both in terms of equity work and the possibilities for the future than anyone at home.
gerald`: and had a beautiful daughter (who is my niece because there's no word for second cousin in hindi) that required me to bust out my teddy bear (now twenty years old. gods.) and realize, somehow, that identity finding is a gradual thing, and that I've got the ball rolling, but it's not something I can wrap up in any given timeframe
Neil: Welcome to your 20s, Gerald.
gerald`: so, with three all but out of the way, I can deal with the family.
Neil: yeah, how's that?
gerald`: rocked some sideways thinking, i guess, and now my brother and I get along better than we used to; I put up with his good-natured harassment and he deals with me studying on his floor because mine is nowhere to be seen.
gerald`: I've all but lost a couple pairs of pants to the back of my closet that I can no longer access, and my back ache would continue to kill a lesser man, but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before.
Neil: okay, but let's get to what's really important here: were they good pants?
gerald`: charcoal herringbone w/red pinstripes
gerald`: they were fantastic pants.
Neil: so yes. Sigh. Would anyone in your family help?
gerald`: to be fair, it's a bit warm for those pants
Neil: they won't be needed for awhile
gerald`: yeah
Neil: so what kind of shorts look business casual?
gerald`: was going to riff on "do you guys just dress up in business casual and hang out?" and the fact that rob doesn't wear shorts.
gerald`: but then left it out.
gerald`: and, um, I dunno. let's email GQ.
gerald`: or would that be very american psycho of us?

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