last night

um. wow.
last night was more than a little ridiculous.

I got out of the house on the pretenses that I had a date with a girl; her name was Sara, she was in Forestry, we weren't really sure if we wanted this to go anywhere so we'd give dinner a shot and then I was going to go out with the gang and then crash at Gav's.
What was actually going down was that I was heading to Costa's, changing, going out for the ACF Staff Dinner, and then we were going out after that.

of course, what happens after then doesn't reaaaalllly matter, and so I will relay a couple conversations I had:

"hey Gerald can you tie my tie for me? it doesn't look right."
"sure, Corbett, I'm on it."
"yes! I know a gay."
[Corbett dances]
"do you have an 'i know a gay' dance?"
"maybe."

[after Sarah's iron spilt water]
"Sarah! i wet your bed!"
"dammit you, didn't you do a test patch?"
"...I thought that was hair dye."
"wait, you're right."

"damnit, I hate this tie. I want a nice thick one like yours."
"don't we all."
"well, except for Sarah."
"that would explain why she puts up with you."
"actually, it's why she doesn't like me so much."

[while attempting to tie corbett's tie for him]
"okay, there's no other way for you to do this than to stand behind me and reach around."
"...you want a reach-around? stupid low mirrors make this difficult. I wonder if Sarah's room is going to be any better."
"well, let's find out. Sarah! Gerald and I are going into your room and he's going to give me a reach-around!"
"Don't wet the bed!"

"na-ked! na-ked! na-ked!"

"this jacket is so soft. I don't want to let you go!"
"makes two of us."
"no, seriously."
"I was being serious."

shortly after the above conversation, pretty much the entire room decided that they needed to stroke my jacket. It was... endearing and awkward, neatly rolled into one.

and this was all before we got to the macaroni grill; the rest of the evening is up on facebook, but here's a drink tally for posterity:

2 shots Jager
2 Liquid Cocaines
2 Mystery Citrus Tequila Shots
1 Glenfiddich 12-year old
1 Irish Car Bomb
1 Jack and Coke
1 Mystery Shot (Butterscotch Schnapps + Kahlua)

That I didn't die is a minor miracle.

Anyways, there's a Birthday the Second for all my peeps who aren't on ACF Staff (and those who want to get ridiculous again), starting at the Mongolian BBQ on Broadway and Macdonald on the 27th at 7pm and then moving either to Honey for Mod Club, the beach, or the King's Head for a joint thing with C. Anderson.
Knowing us, though, something entirely different will happen.